Over the past few months I have tried to use humor to get me through the tough times.... and for the most part I must say it seems to be working! I know one thing for sure it at least makes me more pleasant to be around. As of yesterday... however, I think my humor is now being replaced with anger!
I just can't understand how children can all be raised by the same parents and turn out so entirely different... not even in the same realm! I am at a loss! Some of my sibilings continue to make the same mistakes over and over like they can't seem to realize that the outcome of their choices will always be the same! IT ANGERS ME!!!
It is also getting more and more difficult for me not force my family into talking about my Mom's dependency problems "the elephant in the room". I had a 15 minute conversation with her yesterday of which I understood 3 sentences. What a sad statement... where has my Mom gone? Is there even a glimpse of her still left? I haven't seen her truly be herself in over 2 years...
My Dad is forced to face the issues on top of the fact that he is fighting a battle for his life. I think sometimes things are easier left unsaid because of the overwhelming concept of coping with it. I know that is how I feel most days... and I can't imagine how much more difficult it must be for him.
I think my breaking point is or has been reached... and that there is a "battle" to fight to get my family back on the right track . I only hope I have the strength still left in me to fight this war!
No comments:
Post a Comment