When Life Seems too Overwhelming...

As I promised a friend, I am updating my blog... yeah I know it's been over a month. Sometimes I just feel like all I have to say is a bit of a downer... and rather than bombard people with that attitude I just choose to keep it to myself.

These past few months I have yet again been on my "emotional rollercoaster" but I remain as positive as I possibly can!

This weekend was a good one for the most part... Friday night we went to see The Cure... yeah I show my age when I admit that, but it was a good time. It was interesting to see the wide variety of people at the concert, the band was amazing and it was good to get out and let loose. Saturday morning we went to see Indiana Jones. It was exactly what I expected a fun unrealistic adventure and kept me smiling. Saturday night was filled with friends, a long time friend of ours was in town for the weekend and we lived it up in his honor! Sunday was wasted away by sleeping in because bedtime wasn't until the wee morning hours... then we went to my mother-in-laws for dinner.

Sunday night I received some bad news... a bit overwhelmed by the cards I have been handed lately a break down emotionally was in store. After finally gathering my composure Deven and I headed home. That night was one of those sleepless nights... (one of those is pretty regular so I should just say when I actually sleep at this point) the thing about not sleeping is that it allows you to let your mind ponder things that you don't often get a chance to. I did alot of soul searching and again evaluated myself for what I could be doing more diligently!

Monday was spent enjoying time with my hubby and then a BBQ with the in-laws. It's amazing how quickly a three day weekend can fly by!

10 days and counting to our trip... I think this is just what the doctor ordered to help me get myself "put back together"

"Trouble is part of your life–if you don’t share it, you don’t give the person who loves you a chance to love you enough."

Family Bowling Night

Saturday Night was "Family Bowling Night"... not that this is going to be an ongoing thing, but it was just what we called it. My Neice and Nephew have been taking bowling classes and so we decided to all get together and so they could show off their "skills"... at their age this still consists of having the bumpers up... but it was good time for all none the less. Most of us met up and went to dinner before hand... when the family gets together it is never a small group. After dinner we headed over to the bowling alley where the whole gang was together... my parents, all six of us kids, most of our significant others, and six grandkids and one great grandkid.

My parents were on cloud nine. We haven't been able to get all of us to a function at the same time in over a year or more. I took on the role of cheerleader... I think everyone in the bowling alley knew anytime anyone on our "team" got a strike or did well. High fives where going like crazy, and all and all we just enjoyed being together.

"Other things may change us, but we start and end with the family."

My Birthday...

Well my birthday has come and gone, it was a great day. I woke up to find presents in the front room waiting for me to open. My hubby spoiled me, I got some luggage for our upcoming Scotland trip, a heart monitor for exercising, and some more work out clothes. Doesn't sound like much to most, but all are things I really wanted!

We went to lunch at Happy Sumo... YUMMMMMYYYYY!!!

Dinner was pizza, we had family over and just enjoyed being together. It was so nice to eat dinner with the whole gang on my birthday. Most years we just do icecream and cake, but this year we splurged! As my Mom and Dad were leaving, my cute hubby thanked my mom for having a daughter... the littlest things lately make me cry!

Later a few friends came over and we got our "rock" on... all and all I must say turning 34... hasn't been half bad!

Another Year... Febuary 2nd... Ground Hog's Day!

Hard to believe another year has passed. Tomorrow is my birthday... This past year has been one of the most emotionally difficult years of my life. Things I never expected to have to “face” at 33 came into play, followed by the struggle to figure out how to deal with it all on my own personal level. I am still struggling… but hopefully in time I will figure it all out.

From my trip to Seattle, to the Disneyland trip with family… it was a year of focusing on family. Our Disneyland trip is one I will never forget. My niece and I dancing in the street like we were the “shit”… and at the time we were! Trick or treating in the “happiest place on earth”… watching my Dad’s face as he went on the Tower of Terror for the first time… just enjoying time without the worries of day to day and for a moment forgetting what may lie ahead.

I also accomplished things I never thought possible on my own, my bike ride was more than just a physical accomplishment… it was the beginning of believing in me. I am tougher than I ever thought… and in the road ahead I know this will be important.

Friendships this year were rekindled… family bonds were tightened… so as I say goodbye to 33… I anticipate the milestones this year will bring and life changing experiences lie ahead… “I feel free tonight”

Wishing my follow through was better...

Last night was yet again one of the many nights, I spent lying awake. Mild insomnia is something I have decided to just deal with... eventually it will go away, right? My point isn't really about the lack of sleep, but the many things that go through my mind while lying awake.

Not quite a year ago, I made a promise to myself that I have struggled to keep; in fact I would almost say I haven't kept it at all. It is hard for me to justify why I haven't, other than I am often so caught up in my "me syndrome", that is hard for me to see that I truly do have the time to follow through.

The realization that I can't turn back time, ("cry over spilt milk") sometimes feels like a never ending "justification". With all of that said, last night in the silence, I decided that while I am not doing so well at keep my promise the way I originally had played it out in my mind; there are other ways to achieve the same results, which ultimately at the end of the day is the most important thing anyway.

I am promising myself to stop beating myself up for things I can't change. I am moving forward with a new idea, a way to accomplish things, so I can look back without regret.

"Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope for tomorrow."

A few of my favorite quotes...

"We make a living by what we get, we make a life by what we give."

"Live a good life... and in the end, it's not the years in the life, it's the life in the years"

"Attitude is a little thing that makes a big difference."

"However beautiful the strategy, you should occasionally look at the results."

"Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck."

"As you begin to live in the present moment, you will experience a subtle but profound change. Your worrying about the future will cease."

"Life gives us time only love gives us meaning."

"A smile increases your face value."

"Strangers are just friends waiting to happen."

"Happiness isn't getting what you want, but experiencing who you are."

"Life isn't about how many breaths you take, its how many moments that take your breath away."

Happy 2008

As I reflect back on the roller coaster ride of emotions that 2007 brought, I think most importantly I am very grateful for the "wake up" call.

I have learned to be more compassionate with family, that believing in myself I can accomplish things I never thought possible (75 miles on a bike when I couldn't even ride a mile in May… thanks Dad for being my inspiration). I took time to enjoy every moment I have with family, tried to focus on the future instead of wasting time regretting the past, and most of all remember that the little things in life do count when they are precious… don't let them escape unnoticed.

So I toast to 2008...to love a little deeper, speak a little sweeter, and never take one single breath for granted!

I look forward to 2008, with anticipation... knowing that there are memories in the making right around the corner. This year is going to be full of milestones in life... and I look forward to celebrating those with the people I love.

So here's to 2008, may it be everything I know it can be and more!